


But were we burdened with like weight of pain

by Kaleidoscope_Carousel



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 12:48:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10571628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaleidoscope_Carousel/pseuds/Kaleidoscope_Carousel
Summary: Leadership is a heavy burden.  Sara just needs one night to help shoulder the weight.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Basically my Nysara take on the _We deserve a soft epilogue, my love_ meme, in fic format.

The knock comes in the middle of the night. Three short raps on her apartment door. Nyssa has her dagger in her hand and her feet on the floor in the millisecond between the sound of the first and second knock; she’s looking through the peephole by the time the echoes have died away in the stillness of three am. She knows that any assailants would not have bothered warning her of their presence, but a lifetime of training is hard to get over in a few months. The sight that greets her through the tiny circle of glass, however, knocks the breath out of her lungs far easier than any physical blow.

“Sara…” she whispers and throws the door wide open. The two of them stare at each other a moment. Sara looks older, not just physically, she looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders, but she bears it well. The blue eyes that Nyssa has always loved look wiser, yes, but sadder too, if that were even possible. The silence stretches a moment between them, like the precarious seconds between the apex of the roller coaster, and the impending drop, and snaps as they both start speaking at once.

“How on earth did you find m-”

“I’m sorry to drop in like this I just had to s-” They both stop, and Sara rubs awkwardly at the back of her neck.

“You go first,” she says.

“No, you habibti,” Nyssa answers, “I feel it is you who has much more to say.”

Sara sighs. “I do, and I’m not sure how I can explain it all. Can I come in?” she asks, her gaze uncertain for once.

“Of course, Beloved,” Nyssa answers and steps aside to let Sara pass.

“Nice digs you’ve got here,” Sara says, taking in the small, but tastefully decorated studio apartment Nyssa has been occupying for the last year. Sara spies the worn leather couch, and heads straight for it, dropping into one corner and curling her legs underneath her, a pose so familiar, Nyssa’s heart aches with it.

“Thank you,” Nyssa says, “it is modest, but it suits my needs.” She steps toward the couch, cautiously, as if Sara were a bird like her namesake, and liable to take flight at any moment. When her Beloved makes no move to escape, Nyssa sits facing her, replaces her dagger on the table and sets a warm hand on her knee. “What is bothering you, habibti?” she asks, “you know you can tell me anything.” 

Sara ducks her head, lets out a rueful laugh. “I wish I could, Nyssa, but where I’ve been, what I’ve seen… there are some things I can’t tell even to you.”

“But some things you can and you have obviously tracked me down for a purpose.” Sara looks up again, meets Nyssa’s eye.

“Gideon found you for me, actually. I’ve known where and when you are for a while, I just…I kept finding excuses to stay away.” Nyssa frowns at Sara’s choice of words, but says nothing, just waits for her Beloved to continue. When Sara curls her fingers against her jeans and doesn’t speak for another few moments, Nyssa allows herself to speak.

“The past does not matter,” Nyssa ignores Sara’s sharp bark of laughter at this and continues, “what matters is that you are here now.” When Sara still does not say anything, Nyssa takes in the stiffness of her Beloved’s shoulders, the way Sara’s strong but slender frame is shaking, ever so slightly; she forgoes caution and pulls Sara to her, folding her into her arms and running her hands softly and soothingly up and down her back. “I am here, habibti, I am here for you, whatever it is you can let it out.” Sara’s shaking becomes more pronounced, and soon Nyssa can feel the tears soaking into the fabric of her pyjama top as Sara cries silently into her shoulder.

“I’m so tired, Nyssa, I’m so tired of being strong and always having to make the decisions,” Sara says as she pulls Nyssa in even closer.

“You do not have to be strong with me,” Nyssa says and places kiss after tender kiss into Sara’s hair. She can feel Sara relaxing little by little and soon she has calmed enough to pull away and wipe at her reddened eyes.

“Thank you,” Sara whispers and Nyssa shrugs.

“It is the least I can do, Beloved,” Nyssa says. Sara flinches slightly at the endearment.

“I haven’t been faithful to you,” she says. 

“I did not expect you to be,” Nyssa answers, “I set you free, Sara, for all intents and purposes. I would not cage my Canary, would never clip her wings so that she had to remain as much a prisoner as I. You had no obligation left to me.” Sara wipes one last tear from her cheek and smiles up at Nyssa.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” she asks

“I pose myself that very same question every time I have the chance to be near you, habibti,” Nyssa says,“now please, tell me what is wrong?”

Sara closes her eyes for a moment, and takes a deep breath. “I saved reality, Nyssa, I saved reality and broke time, and there were dinosaurs, and we had to figure out how to put the pieces back together but the biggest thing was that I had to make the most difficult decision of my life. I have had to choose my own suffering again and again and again because I know if I didn’t, then the world as we know it would disappear. I had to choose to let Laurel die and it’s not fair, Nyssa. I’ve had to be so strong. I know she’s proud of me, and I know she’s at peace, and I know she’s happy that I did the right thing but all I can feel right now is the pressure to always be the one who saves the world. I just need some time, just a little bit of time to myself. To let myself be selfish. To let myself be happy. Please.” Nyssa takes in the sight of her beloved, arms wrapped protectively around herself, and usually impeccable makeup smudged and running from her tears. She does not hesitate to pull Sara to her again, and lie back against the arm of the couch so that Sara is lying on top of her with her head on Nyssa’s chest.

“Of course, Beloved,” Nyssa says, and runs her hands through Sara’s blonde hair. She starts to softly sing a lullaby in Arabic, and she can feel the tension begin to drain from Sara’s body. They stay like that for a long while, Nyssa running through all the calming songs she can think of while Sara just leans into Nyssa and breathes. It is close to an hour later when Nyssa suddenly stops mid-chorus and says, “Wait, did you say dinosaurs?” 

Sara lets out a laugh, a real one this time and lifts her head enough to press a gentle kiss to Nyssa’s lips. “I’ll tell you about it another time, alright?” Nyssa nods, not trusting herself to speak without peppering her Beloved with a thousand questions. Sara smiles and puts her head back on Nyssa’s chest. Within moments, she is asleep, and Nyssa smiles at her exhausted lover. Carefully so as not to disturb Sara too much (with League training it is impossible not to be a light sleeper although Sara, stubborn as ever, still managed somehow to stay dreaming while she knew Nyssa was near) she stands up and carries the dozing Sara to bed, curling up beside her and tucking them both under the duvet.

“Goodnight, my love,” she whispers to Sara, and presses another soft kiss to Sara’s cheek, “sleep sound.” Closing her eyes, Nyssa, too, allows herself to relax with the familiar presence of Sara beside her, and falls into a deep dreamless sleep.


End file.
